Thursday, July 31, 2003

Okay, here's the long overdue update from the best bachelorette party ever! Windsor is amazing! As are my awesome bridesmaids!

12p- Shelley and I leave Columbus for Mentor to pick up her passport. One missed exit and two hours later we arrive, say "what's up" to Kyle and Shelley's mom, eat some cake, pick up Shelley's passport, and assure her mom we won't do anything illegal like drink or anything. Off to Toledo!

5p - Meet up with Abbey and Jenny in Toledo, quick snack/dinner, then off to Windsor! Yay!!!

7p - Still traveling to Windsor. The weather has decided to not cooperate, but Abbey does a fabulous job navigating through the pouring rain and we safely stop at an exit.
Sarah: "Better to be safe than..." (Abbey and Jenny nod)
Shelley (asleep in the backseat, decides to contribute): "...dead"

7:15p - Phone call to Brad for a tornado check: No tornadoes, we get back on the road when the rain slows down.

7:30 - Quote of the evening: While driving through the torrential downpour, Jenny comments on our surroundings. "You know, Detroit's a big piece of crap." Nicely put.

8:00 - On our way to the border, we get catcalls from two Detroit policemen. Nice start to the evening ladies J.

8:15 - At the border, the guard asks for our papers. I am sitting in the front seat praying that a non-official copy of my birth certificate will get me across. It does (phew). Jenny and Shelley exchange some money, and we're off to the hotel.

8:20 - Drive right on by the hotel, then turn the wrong way down a one-way street. Oops. Abbey drives back by the hotel (right in the middle of all the clubs, awesome location!!) and Shelley and I hop out to check in.

8:30 - Shelley and I sign a statement that we will not cause a "ruckus" and that there are in fact only two of us staying in our room. Abbey and Jenny are hiding around the corner.

9:00 - We're ready to go out. Shelley may pass out from starvation at this point, so we decide to go to the Bad Hare Saloon.

9:30 - After ordering drinks (we can drink!) and food, I receive a flower lei (purple, to match the bridesmaids dresses, of course) and a veil (yay!). All the girls have on the flower leis (including Shelley, but not for long).

9:45 - Food! Yum!

10:00 - Jenny and I have the first tequila shots of the evening. Awesome!

10:15 - We toast to everything we can, including hockey and our boys.

10:30 - We ask the waitress for advice on which clubs to go to. She gives us a few places, and then warns us to not take any side streets because we "might get attacked".

11:00 - We set off for our first club of the evening. It was no cover (ladies night), $2.50 Coronas (that's $2.50 Canadian, even!), packed, and awesome! We danced, we sang, we had an awesome time. And Shelley and I were never without a drink in our hands. Shelley raced me, kicked my butt-she's still got me on bottles (but I am the champ with a can).

12:30 - After an awesome 80's medley of songs, we decide to try the next club. It was also no cover and $2.50 Coronas. This place wasn't as busy, but still awesome. We heard another 80's medley and danced on the little stage.

12:45 - Suddenly, our little group is surrounded by a much larger group of guys. The veil acts like a guy magnet at clubs. Guess it's the challenge.

1:00 - One of the guys at club #2 decides that we would like him to strip for us. He and his friend promptly (and drunkenly) take off their shirts. We stop looking, but I get him to buy me a drink (I'm telling you, this veil thing really works).

1:30 - Last call for drinks at the bar, and we decide that it's time to go. On the way back to the hotel, there is a guy on the sidewalk playing Blister in the Sun. Makes me think of Michael and Hockey. I dance.

1:45 - Back at the hotel (fuzzy details here). Apparently I called Michael and then fell asleep in a chair.

9:00 - I wake up in the hotel bed, fully clothed (except shoes and veil) smelling like a big cigarette. I wonder if I called Michael, and then confirm that I did by checking the outgoing calls on my phone. Luckily he was the only one I called J

9:10 - I realize that my Driver's License is no longer in my shirt (where it had been all night) and start to worry a little; I will need this to get back across the border. I figure I'll look for it when I get up later. Get some water and advil, back to bed.

10:00 - Shower time, then the rest of the girls wake up.

10:45 - I ask when check-out is, and we decide it's probably noon. Shelley and I call just in case. It's 11:00 (oh, no!) Shelley and I look for the keys but can only find one. We turn it in (the girl doesn't ask for the second one, thankfully) and then go back upstairs to our room to finish getting ready. I find my ID in my purse (guess I was thinking the night before) and then I find the extra room key. How it got into my purse is still a mystery, because I was never in posession of the key...hmmm

12:00 - On the road again. We drive back through Detroit and confirm that it is, in fact, a big piece of crap. Breakfast at Bob Evan's (yum!) and then off to Toledo.

2:00 - Toledo, we separate again (Shelley and I in her car, Abbey and Jenny in Abbey's car) and head back to Columbus. Shelley and I decide that we need to go back to Windsor ASAP. After all, the Corona special is probably a summer thing. Maybe we'll go next weekend (J)

5:00 - Back in Columbus, then running, dinner, and time to see our boys (our real life boys). Life is good.

The weekend was awesome, and I couldn't have asked for a better bachelorette party. Thank you guys, you're the best!

Monday, July 28, 2003

Family Time

CLH -> PDH: You're louder than Sue Grindrod!

LPH -> PWH We should put you in a muzzle
CLH: You know, muzzles were originally invented for woem - then they found that they worked for dogs, too.
PWH: I'd actually believe that.

LCH: Hey Bill, Shut up.

LCH: I work at the shop, don't even get me started.

Sunday, July 27, 2003

The Natives are Getting Restless

Pat: you guy's shouldn't drink
Dad: patrick, shut up

So who's going jogging with me in the morning? dad
Ka-hahah - mom

she said yadaya? --mom
Dad said nunya......."None of your fucking business"

Mom- I'm going to bed soon...
Dad- It's 10:00!!
Mom- It is not! It's 11!
Dad- It's gotta be 10 somewhere...

Saturday, July 26, 2003

Boy Meets World

Pat: If I'm in Mensa, do I get discounts at the grocery store?

Friday, July 25, 2003

While playing bucket with the family, Dad is the only one who got hammered.

[Playing a 5 of spades] I need this trick! -- Larry

[After getting Dad drunk and playing cards] We need to get Dad drunk everytime we play cards! -- Chris

You wouldn't remember, you're drunk! --Patrick
No, it's all an act--have you ever seen sister act? -- Larry [drunk]

I have the power! -- Larry

Which one of these bags is blue and which one is green? -- Larry

Laura gets her own room -- Patrick
That's crap--that's discrimination -- Larry

Had to share a little bit of my conversation with Larry (yes, Michael's dad Larry) from Saturday night

Him: Why are you laughing at me?
Me: (Laughing) I'm not laughing at you.
Him: Yes you are. Michael told me to call you.
Me: I heard you've been drinkin a little.
Him: No, I've only been drinkin a little.
Me: Ah.
Him: Look, I've been driving all day, got up early, went to bed late, had a few gin and tonics.
Me: (Still laughing)
Him: Like 6.
Me: (Laughing harder)
Him: Tall ones.

Thursday, July 24, 2003

I find it strange that I worry about contact with chemicals and the cancerous effects everything seems to have and then go rub some crazy crap into my skin that somehow blocks the sun.

I'm headed down to NC for a week. It should be a good time. Nothing like drinking and playing cards with the family, right?

And more exciting news: I'm moving outta my ghetto--crime-striken--now-close-to-a-triple-homicide--and-twice-broken-into-house to a kickass house much closer to campus. We sketched out plans for a pretty neat bar, too. Hopefully I'll get some nice cad drawings made up. Or even a maya flythrough.

I'm pretty new to this blog stuff. This was originally created as a common place to post the ridiculous things we've been caught saying.

Friday, July 18, 2003

The following may be taken out of context and generally would require an explanation. No time for that.

From Sat night:

Eric (reading from Maxim): What's the largest penis you've ever touched?
Shelley (with Jon): I don't know, let me whip out my measuring tape.

He bit me on the bottom of my foot. -- Sarah

In reference to Jagermeister: I have no idea b/c I've never been that sick b/c I drink like a girl -- Jon

Screw you--no wait--NOT screw you -- Sarah

My beer's getting cold--errr--warm -- Jon

To Jon: You're NOT getting fucked tonight, sorry babe. -- Shelley

Shelley: This is what we normally do to other people.
Sarah: I know! I feel bad for them

I have to burp cause this is carbonated you know -- Jon

I hear Bubbles -- Jon

Eric: I'd never do that but it's tight
Michael: Eat pussy or get a tattoo (somehow related?)

Shelley to sarah: You know, you get a lot more hostile when your drunk

Shelley: I'd like to be functional when I leave (tonight)
Jon: Yeah!

We are going to lose twice tonight. What they don't know is they're going to lose tonight also. -- Sarah
I am going to the bathroom, then -- michael

well his brain won't be fucking....
yeah nothing else will either -- sarah

Shelley, i accidentally poured beer on michael -- sarah

hey, i have beer on my crotch -- michael

Thursday, July 10, 2003

The following may be taken out of context and generally would require an explanation. No time for that.

You guys haven't dranken enough.
-Michael

You have to be one with the happy waterfall dance.
-Brad

If we're real quiet, cats will come by and we can throw pretzels at them.
-Michael

(Michael) Shelley, what's that round thing in your pocket?
(Shelley) It's my hair tie.
(Michael) I hope your hair tie has bigger plans than me.

But give me a mouthful and I'm golden.
-Shelley

I gotta take the cards inside so the birds don't take them.
-Michael
I know it doesn't make any sense, that's why I said it.
-Michael's follow up